Spinach Artichoke Dip

I didn’t take a Cast of Characters photo because I really didn’t know I was going to make this until I started making it. But here’s what you need:

Canned artichokes
Baby spinach
Butter
Garlic
Flour
Milk
Salt & pepper
Cream cheese
Crumbled feta
Grated parmesan
Grated pepper jack
Cayenne
Pita wedges, tortilla chips, or crackers

Drain the artichokes, then rinse them under cool water and set them aside for approximately 254 seconds.

Slice up three or four cloves of garlic…

Then mince it…

Then throw the garlic into the skillet with the butter. Cook it around for a couple of minutes over medium-low heat, just to get the oil really infused with the heavenly garlic flavor.

You know, I never thought of this. Garlic is heavenly in more ways than one. It smells and tastes delicious, of course. But also…vampires don’t like it.

I’m glad we had this talk.

Crank up the heat to medium-high and t throw a bag of spinach into the skillet with the butter and garlic.

Sprinkle in a little salt and pepper…

Then cook it for a couple of minutes until it shrinks and wilts.

Pull the spinach out of the skillet and put it into a small strainer, applying a little pressure to squeeze out as much of the yumminess as possible.

Now the skillet is filled with a spinachy, buttery, garlicy liquid.

Next, throw in the artichoke hearts!

Cook the hearts around for several minutes, until most of the liquid cooks off and the artichokes develop a little color on the outside.

Then transfer the artichokes to a plate. Try not to eat them. This will be difficult.

Okay!

We’ve got the spinach.

We’ve got the artichokes.

Now we’re-a-gonna make the dip.

Melt three tablespoons of butter in a pot or skillet, then sprinkle in an equal amount of flour.

Whisk this together to make a paste and cook it for a minute or two over medium-low heat.

Pour in 1 1/2 cups (give or take) of whole milk.

Stir it around and cook it for two or three minutes, or until the sauce is slightly thickened. Splash in more milk if it gets too thick!

And now. Avert your eyes.

Actually, don’t. If you avert your eyes you won’t how to make the best spinach artichoke dip ever.

Throw in a ding dang package of softened cream cheese and stir it around until it’s all melted and combined.

Then grab some feta! It’s sharp and miraculous.

Crumble it up and throw it in, too.

You’ll want to eat this with a spoon. This is normal.

But wait.

There’s more.

Throw in Parmesan! Because…why not?

Cayenne would be nice.

So would grated Pepper Jack! Then you’ll get spice from two different places.

Throw it in and stir it all around until it’s totally melted. At this point, give the sauce a taste and add more of whatever you think it needs!

Chop up the artichokes and throw them into the sauce…

Then chop up the spinach…

And throw it in. Then stir it all around, give it a taste, and make sure it has your blessing.

Pour the luscious mixture into a buttered casserole dish (or you could do small gratin dishes if you’d like to spread it around a bit.

Top the casserole with a little more grated Pepper Jack.

Forgive me.

Then throw it in a 375 degree oven and let the cheese get melted and slightly bubbly.

I didn’t let the top get too brown, but you can let it go farther if you like that golden brown cheese thing.

To serve ’em up, slice up some flatbread or pita bread into wedges.

Then throw the wedges on a baking sheet and warm ’em up for a few minutes if you want. Or you could just leave them as is!

(You can also do crackers, tortilla chips…)

(A spoon…)

(Ahem.)

I have a question for you: Could my hand be any less photogenic?

I have another question for you.

Could this dip be any more delicious?

I have an answer for ya: No. No, it couldn’t.

Enjoy this, guys! It’s heaven on a flatbread wedge.