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This is the kind of thing you make with your sister after Christmas is over and you look at each other after eating your nine hundredth cinnamon roll of the week and decide you’ve simply got to have something green and crunchy before you go berserk.
Or before you go ahead and eat your 901st cinnamon roll—whichever scenario fits.
First, slice up a few slices of bacon into bits…
And fry it up until it’s just beginning to crisp.
Remove it to a paper towel lined plate and set it aside.
Pour off most of the grease, then add a little bitta butter.
Oh no. Don’t get me started. Betty Botta bought some butter. “But,” she said, “This butter’s bitter! If I put it my batter, it will make my batter bitter…”
As I said, don’t get me started.
Turn the heat to medium-low, and when the butter melts, throw in some sliced red onion.
Cook ’em low and slow, stirring occasionally, until they’re nice and soft and slightly caramelized. This’ll take about 10-15 minutes, so hold yer horses!
Remove the onions to a plate…
Then throw in a bunch of sliced mushrooms! These will shrink quite a bit, so don’t be afraid to totally go for it.
Stir them around…
Then pour in some wine. White or red—whatever your preference, Maynard.
Sprinkle in salt and pepper…
Then just cook the heck out of them over medium to medium-high heat…
Until the mushrooms are nice and tender and the wine is mostly cooked off.
At that point, crank up the heat to high and let the mushrooms brown for 30-45 seconds before flipping them and letting them brown on the other side. Then remove the pan from the heat and set them aside. And whatever you do, don’t eat any! Unless you’re me and have no self control and eat a third of them before the salad’s even ready.
I have problems.
And speaking of salad, let’s make the dressing! Just a simple balsamic vinaigrette: 3 parts olive oil to 1 part balsamic…
Then salt, pepper, and some dried thyme leaves. Put on the lid, shake it up, and that be it!
Now, for the green, just strip the kale off the stalks, roll up a few leaves at a time, and slice them very thin.
You’ll end with a big, beautiful bowl of shaved kale! This is my favorite way to prep kale for salads, because the leaves are hearty and strong and don’t wither easily when tossed in dressing.
The first thing I do is pour in a little dressing and toss the greens to coat them.
Next (this is getting really exciting!), throw in the mushrooms (or what’s left of them after your little incident earlier)…
The bacon…
And the onions…
Then toss it all together.
And now. I have thing about kale salads.
I have to add huge chunks of goat cheese!
Pour in a little more dressing…
Then gently toss everything together. Yum!
Serve it up and dig in. So incredibly flavorful!
One of my favorite salads in the world.
Here’s the handy dandy printable!
