Peach Dumplings

This is a variation of the curious Apple Dumplings I posted here ages and ages and ages ago, when I was still in my thirties and my kids were all little and my jowls were much less pronounced.

But I’m a lot wiser now! And I wouldn’t trade that for all the collagen in the world.

I digress.

I made these peach numbers last Sunday and posted the step-by-step on Snapchat (my new obsession; username @thepioneerwoman). The results were totally predictable: The crazy little dumplings were just as good—probably better—than the original apple version.

Here’s how to make them!

First, lay out the finest puffed pastry dough available to you. It should, if possible, be crafted by artisan hands and contain only cold butter from grass-fed cows, the finest chilled water from a pure mountain spring, salt from the Mediterranean sea, and stone-milled flour.

Or you can just use these.

Ha.

In fact, you kinda need to use these. Forget that whole puffed pastry stuff—you can use that next time!

First, smear butter in the bottom of a baking dish.

Tear off a triangle and place a frozen peach on the large end. The original recipe calls for fresh apple slices, but peaches are ah-may-zing…and frozen peaches work just poifectly.

Roll it up inside the crescent roll…

Place it in the pan…

And keep going until you fill the pan. (Note that I used a slightly smaller pan here, so I didn’t use the full amount in the recipe below. Don’t let that throw you off.)

Now melt some butter in a saucepan and pour in some sugar.

Stir it until it just comes together. It will be grainy and very weird. Add a splash of vanilla…

And pour the grainy weirdness all over the crescent rolls.

All I can say right now is this: Trust me.

Just trust me.

Sprinkle it with cinnamon…

And now brace yourself.

And after you’ve braced yourself, crack open any pop in the category of Sprite, 7-Up, or Mountain Dew.

The apple version uses Mountain Dew.

For the peach version, I decided to use Sprite.

Call me crazy and unpredictable!

And now. Take a deep breath. Steady yourself. And then pour about half the can (maybe a little more) in the pan.

You know what this is gonna do? It’s gonna just become part of the mix and result in this magical mystery syrup that’ll make the dumplings irresistible.

Bake them at 350 for 40 minutes, until the dumplings look like magic.

Gosh.

GOSH.

Serve up two at a time, then spoon a little sauce from the pan over the top.

Oh, and you must top it with the finest cream available to you—preferably cream from a rare breed of goat from the Alps.

Reddi Wip is a solid choice as well.

Ha. Ha? Ha! I got a little carried away.

But oh…do I love it when I get carried away.

Guys. Gals. Friends. Romans. Countrymen. If you think the apple version is good, wait till you try the peach ones.

It’s craziness. Pure craziness. And it’s even better after a couple of hours, when it has sat for a bit. So be sure you have neighbors to help you finish it up or you’re going to be tempted.

Not that I’d know anything about that.

Here’s the handy dandy printable!